Fandom is a fascinating part of the fame package. On the one hand, you get the BeyHive, who once told Beyoncé to mind her own business when she said they shouldn’t worry about her and Jay Z’s marriage, and on the other you get Rihanna’s Navy, which regularly changes their social media names to some of Riri’s awe-inspiring physical features. Some of the amusing Twitter names I’ve come across include ‘Rihanna’s cupid’s bow’, ‘Rihanna’s nipples’, ‘Rihanna’s uterus’, ‘Rihanna’s forehead’, and ‘Rihanna’s white toes.’ So as a long-term member of The Navy,  it brings me great joy to announce that I finally fall under the ‘white toes’ category – I won’t change my Twitter name, though.

If you’ve been following this #SartorialPodiatrist series of my shoe, sneaker, and occasional fashion pairing ramblings, you might remember that in my first column I mentioned that my feet may be small, but they are not cute. As a result, I’ve always chosen my toenail colour strategically, sticking strictly to red or cerise pink hues throughout the year. With my hands, however, I go with whatever mood fits the month. However, this month I decided to stray from the safety of red and pink toenails, and went for white, inspired by Rihanna’s signature white-hot pedicure.

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A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

A post shared by badgalriri (@badgalriri) on

You get the point.

When the nail technician asked what inspired my ‘adventurous’ colour choice and I simply said, ‘Rihanna’, she had a good chuckle. However, I’m having the last laugh because now my feet have been given a facelift that’s made them fit for daily exhibition – weather permitting. So you can imagine the level of hostility with which I’ve met the sudden cold front and rainy weather with. Talk about throwing a spanner in the works of what could have been sartorial podiatry epitomised (over and above the fact that this weather generally makes me miserable).

To be fair; I did wear open-toe shoes/sandals unprovoked at least three times before temperatures dropped. Did my ankles feel the nip ever so slightly? Yes. Yes, they did, but beauty is pain and being part of Riri’s Navy requires strength and grace. Anyways, I’m back to boots and sneakers for now… until just one ray decides to stretch out behind the clouds.

In the meantime, I’m eyeing these sandals for the (hopefully) fast-approaching spring/summer seasons:

TEVA Original Universal marbled sandal

They’re slowly establishing themselves as the It shoe of Spring/Summer ’18, whether flat or monowedge (below).

Rihanna's white pedicure

Zando, R899

PROJECT monowedge

Definitely not just for the beach.

Rihanna's white pedicure

MRP, R139.99

Leadcat FENTY FU – Puma select

It only makes sense.

Rihanna's white toe nails

Superbalist, R1 299

Maybe it’s time the Fenty Beauty founder added ‘Hot-White’ gel nail varnish to her cosmetics range, because we’d all certainly buy it in bulk.

Signed, the Sartorial Podiatrist.