A few weeks ago I wrote a post on Yoni Eggs, which are like Kegel balls but supposedly even better because they are made of jade. The only real way to find out about anything is to try it, right? So, for the sake of a juicy story – in more ways than one, trust me – I made contact with Juliet of Yonieggs.co.za so that I could get my hands on a set and try them out for myself.

After my package arrived (much to the amusement of my colleagues), I took them home intending to use them immediately, but I found myself daunted and putting it off. I thought that you simply popped one in and went on with your day. Boy, was I wrong! I hadn’t anticipated that you don’t start with the smallest one in the set, but the largest (*gulp*), and that it is inserted big-side up. Apparently this is because it takes more muscles to hold in a smaller one than a bigger one. Makes sense, but it did look pretty huge…

yoni egg, yoni eggs, vagina, pelvic floor, muscles, gemstones, crystal, holistic, wellness, jade

Set of three Xiuyan Jade Yoni Eggs

yoni egg, yoni eggs, vagina, pelvic floor, muscles, gemstones, crystal, holistic, wellness, jade

Scary-sized yoni egg

I also learnt that it is a practice in mindfulness rather than just a question of putting it in and performing your daily tasks. To insert the egg, it is recommended that you lie down and massage your breasts or do something that resembles the early stages of foreplay so that you are *ahem* lubricated enough to be able to get the egg in. I hadn’t bargained on performing mild masturbation on the daily, but for the sake of immersing myself in the experience, I dimmed the lights, lit some incense and put on some Café del Mar.

But what is the point of all this, you ask? Yoni Eggs date back to Ancient China, and have been used by women for centuries. The practice offers a whole host of benefits, from an improved sex life, to repairing and toning muscles pre- and post-childbirth, to relieving PMS and menopausal symptoms. Not to mention awakening the divine feminine energy. And I could definitely do with more energy!

To my surprise, the egg went in really easily, probably because I felt myself up for a few minutes before I attempted it. Once it was in, I couldn’t feel a thing. This made me start to worry that my vagina might be broken beyond repair. Thank goodness for Google, because one quick search of ‘I’ve inserted a Yoni Egg but now I can’t feel it’ brought me to a page that reassured me that this is normal. Why? Because as we get older, or if our pelvic-floor muscles are not exercised regularly, they start to waste away, which also numbs sensation (yikes).

With continual use and about 200 Kegel reps using a Yoni Egg per day, you can rebuild those muscles, and you can start to feel improvements in about two weeks. As I type this I am on rep 127, and the thought of mind-blowing orgasms, easier childbirth and not suffering from incontinence when I am older is what’s spurring me on.


A post shared by Ebony (@yaknobee) on

My set of eggs are made from Xiuyan Jade. They came in a little bag with a handy reel of dental floss which can be tied through a small hole in the narrow end (the down-facing end), to make it easier for rookies like myself to remove the egg and avoid a freak-out because we can’t get it out. So far, so good. I’ll report back in a couple of weeks on the progress of my Yoni.