What do people over 25 do for Halloween? Well, adulting is truly the stuff nightmares are made of, so here are nine things that might go through your mind if you’re older than 25 and being bombarded with Halloween images and advertising in the month of October.
1. Face your fears. What really scares you?
Debt, medical aid co-payments, retirement annuity, the possibility of retrenchment, wrinkles, cholesterol, tax, the fact that you’re pushing (or past) 30 now – truly terrifying stuff. Confront the real monsters of adulting and you’ll know fear.
2. Suddenly feel an overwhelming need to cry
Well, this was a trap.
3. Wonder when this became a thing in South Africa
Did I miss this trend becoming a trend? Where was I?
4. Accept that, okay yes, it’s kind of become a thing
I mean the kids are doing it, so it’s a thing, clearly.
5. Deliberate about whether you’re too old to play dress-up like that
It seems like a lot of effort.
6. Realise you’ve already thought of five great outfit ideas so…
Listen, there’s inspo everywhere:
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7. Sigh because you know someone’s going to wear something problematic
Wearing Native American headdresses, donning blackface, impersonating rape survivors… How is this still happening every year ffs? Cultures and traumas are not costumes.
8. Realise that Halloween for a South African over 25 is just another excuse to party
Hangover recovery time in your late twenties is a dismal state of affairs, but okay.
9. Take the day to be frivolous AF about things that scare the living shit out of you
Could be fun, I guess.
And there you have it. Happy Halloween!