I often hear people saying, ‘If only I had a bae I would do this’, ‘I can’t go there by myself’ or ‘That’s the kind of movie you watch with your s/o’. Upon hearing these somewhat limiting comments, I tend to question if maybe I’m the outlier for not being bothered about doing things on my ace. But only for a second – then I remember that doing this life thing alone is not as grim as society has made it out to be for single women.
I often take myself out on solo dates – Friday dinner for one at the end of the month, watching a movie at the cinema by myself (mostly because I don’t have the patience to wait for my friends to RSVP ‘yes’ if I do ask them), or simply making a quick froyo stop in summer. I imagine onlookers misconstrue this as some kind of denialist lonely behaviour, but to be honest, I find being constantly in the company of others to be quite a chore (I’m sure I’m not the only one).
The Radisson Blu experience
Anyway, when an offer to experience a night (with a partner, lol) at the Radisson Blu came up last weekend, there was no way I was going to decline a stay at one of the most stylish hotels in the city merely because I’m not boo’d up.
Free hotel stay, you say?
Because the experience was tailored for two, I walked into my beautiful suite feeling like I was third-wheeling an imaginary couple; rose petals on the bed in the shape of a heart, towels in the same heart formation, snacks ‘pon snacks, a bottle of Merlot, and board games. I took the romance and made it fashion (and reacquainted myself with my camera’s self-timer later):
But what did I do about the ‘dinner for two’ situation? Well, thanks to Beyoncé’s lyrics ‘My friends, real friends, better than your friends’, I found myself in really good company before retreating back to my cosy room and watching a Love Island marathon with the teddy gifted to me by the hotel upon my arrival, which I named Otis.
In a more literal sense, I forgot my dinner takeaway in my room when I checked out, but the takeaway I’m talking about here is more like lessons we can all heed. And there are three such lessons.
1. Seeing life through your own lens
See, there’s a priceless feeling of independence, self-fulfilment and boss b***ness you gain when you experience the ‘finer’ things in life through your own unfiltered lens – no interruptions, no compromises and, most importantly, you don’t attach every single good memory to one individual. I, personally, am of the impassioned opinion that your 20s are a time of unapologetically doing you; from doing lunch on your own to going on a trip abroad (where it’s safe for women to do so).
2. Debunking loneliness myths
We have been socially indoctrinated to view certain experiences from a binary perspective of friends and family or romantic partner, but never on a spectrum where solitude is represented; hence ‘alone’ and ‘lonely’ are incorrectly deemed synonymous. Safety concerns aside, this is largely the reason why women especially fear doing things alone thanks to the pop-culture fearmongering that posits that ‘dining solo’ will eventually become ‘dying solo.’
Of course, some people prefer to chat to someone while they eat or have someone to react with while watching a movie, and that’s okay, but if you’re at a point in your life where you’re (relentlessly) comfortable in your own company, then date yourself while you still can.
3. For discernment’s sake
Preserving a hotel stay, for example, for romance and orgasms swathed in white linen, has the potential to alter how you take in such an experience in the absence of said prescribed romance. Not only that, but having experienced ‘couple things’ outside of a relationship will remove those rose-filtered glasses from your eyes when you share these moments with someone else, allowing you to actually see the red flags. As someone wisely said, ‘Red flags don’t look like red flags when you’re wearing rose-filtered glasses. They just look like flags.’
Squadcations, solo hotel stays, two-man Saturday missions will all act as a reminder in the future that happiness is possible independently of a partner. No ‘but he/she takes me on weekend getaways’ when those close to you point out flaws.
So, go ahead and…
Yes, I mulled on all of this while in my white robe, bubbly in hand, munching through a cheese platter, with a view from the top at the Radisson Blu. If you want to do the same this winter, visit their site here. I promise you won’t be disappointed.